When it comes to dating, it’s always better to take a more laid back approach where your energy is more “being” than “doing”. While you should be putting yourself out there to meet people, you shouldn’t have to put forth that much effort to meet the right person.
I used to put so much effort into dating. If there was a singles event, I went. If there was a dating site or app, I was on it. However, all that happened was I ended up in hot mess relationships that weren’t what I wanted. Deep down, I knew it too.
Some people tell you to make the first move with a guy to increase your chances. As someone who used to make the first move and had no problem “shooting my shot”, I had no problem getting a guy. I could have a hundred dates this week if I wanted to- it’s not that hard to do. There are plenty of people out there and the odds are good that plenty of them will like you.
While the odds were good, the goods tended to be odd. While I have friends who met their spouses on dating apps, they did not work well for me. After over a decade of dating apps and sites, surviving a rape and stalker because of them, and generally being fed up, I famously quit them.
Instead of accommodating myself to be convenient for someone else, I do what I want when it’s convenient for me. I have just as many responsibilities- if not more- than anyone else. Why should I cater to a man- especially one I barely know? That makes no sense. If a man really wants me, he can come to me. It’s not that hard.
Don’t be fooled into thinking that you have to be on every website, app, and at every singles event to meet the right person. In all honesty, I could be married now if I wanted to get married simply for the sake of being married. It’s honestly not that hard and I have come close a few times. However, every relationship that didn’t work out ended up being a blessing. Some people marry their childhood sweethearts while others meet the right person in their Golden Years.
While I believe in looking your best, feeling your best, and putting forth your best effort, I don’t believe in bending over backwards. How the heck do you plan on keeping it up long term if you end up getting married?
You honestly don’t have to do that much when it comes to dating. While you will end up with more dates if you do more, that doesn’t change your odds of meeting the right person. I know people who have met in the weirdest ways after long dry spells. While there are thousands of tips out there, all you have to do is relax, observe his behavior, and have fun. The most successful couples I know were friends first and didn’t really date in the typical structured way- it just happened. So, lean back and let it happen!
