Most people I know- especially men- may act like they like it if a woman heavily pursues them. However, they are usually turned off. While I know of one couple where the woman marched up to her current husband and introduced herself, this is not a common occurrence. With that being said, a woman making the first move isn’t necessarily going to break a relationship. However, a woman chasing and heavily pursuing a man will.
From my observations, most of the time when a woman makes the first move is usually a pathway to disaster since it doesn’t set a great tone for a relationship. However, there are instances of dumb luck where he would have made the first move and she simply beat him to it.
If you’re a woman who pursues him, pays “their share” and more, caters to him, and basically does his job in the relationship, it won’t work out. Even if you do get married, it will not be a happy one. Why? In a heterosexual relationship, there are more or less defined roles.
If you have to work to get a man’s attention, it won’t work. In relationships, it works better when you just chill out and let things play out the way that they will play out. While you probably can manifest a specific person and “trick” someone into being with you, nothing will make a relationship work that isn’t meant to be. You can’t make it work with the wrong one and you can’t mess it up with the right one.
While there may be exceptions, every happy couple that I know and that I’ve researched works better with the man pursuing the woman. With that being said, you will get more dates if you talk to a guy first and pursue him. However, most of those dates will go nowhere. I know this from experience- I’ve done it.
When I was younger, I had no problem pursuing a man or speaking to him first. However, I never really felt secure when I was the one making moves in a relationship. It’s simply not the natural order of things. Like most women, I wanted to feel protected and taken care of.
The natural order of things is when the man makes things happen and moves everything along in a relationship. He is the one who plans and pays for dates, says he loves you, introduces you to his parents first, and ultimately asks you to marry him.
Some people claim walking up to a man and “shooting your shot” is confident. However, it isn’t. True confidence is building up your own life and letting who and what you want come to you. There are some women who can pull it off. However, it is incredibly rare and I don’t recommend it. While these women come from a place of true confidence, most come from a place of neediness disguised as confidence.
I know people from every shape, size, and color of the rainbow from all over the world. I know people from countries that are very progressive and egalitarian, like Finland. I also know people from very conservative backgrounds. One of the biggest factors that determines whether a relationship will work is how interested the man in and if he’s consistently pursuing his woman.
In short, there is no pride in chasing a man. Instead, save yourself the heartache and the disaster. Let him chase you and let him assume that risk when you’re dating.
